


Rose Tyler, in the TARDIS, as it should be.

by Catkin_Thief



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Action/Adventure, F/F, F/M, Friendship/Love, Post Doomsday, doomsday fix-it, fem!doctor - Freeform, non-canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-08
Updated: 2015-03-21
Packaged: 2018-03-11 05:20:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3315635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catkin_Thief/pseuds/Catkin_Thief
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Follows most of series one with occasional deviants, but after that it won't be canon compliant. A female Ninth Doctor and her companions Rose and Jack travel the cosmos while learning to live with - and love- each other</p>
<p>This is now going through a re-write. Basically I'm going over each chapter and fixing them because it was pretty rushed when I first wrote it. I will start posting new chapters soon (hopefully) so please bear with me. This is still a work in progress, so it might take a while, but I will finish it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It's your choice.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all. This is the first time I've posted a fic on here, so please bear with me, as I'm not entirely sure how it all works and I may get it wrong. For the record, I've no idea where I came up with this, it just came to me one day and I decided to run with it. As my Ninth Doctor is female, she may seem a little out of character at times, but I've tried to stay as close to the original character as possible. All original dialogue and characters belong to bbc, etc. etc. Please enjoy.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Follows most of series one with occasional deviants, but after that it probably won't be canon-compliant. A female Ninth Doctor, Rose and Jack travel the cosmos while learning to live with- and love - each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all. It's the first time I've posted a fic on this site, so please bear with me if I make any mistakes, I'm still learning how it all works. Just for the record, I have no idea where this idea came from, but I'm a sucker for the really mad and strange ones, so I decided to run with it. My ninth Doctor is female, so she may seem a little out of character at times, but I've tried to stay as close to the original character as possible, because I absolutely loved the Ninth Doctor that Chris played. All original characters and dialogue belong to the bbc etc. etc. Please enjoy.  
> 

For Rose, it started out as an ordinary day. She woke up at seven o'clock, far too early to be up in her opinion, got washed and dressed, kissed her mum goodbye and headed off to the big, fancy department store that she worked at; Henriks. It was pretty much an average day, although she did see Mickey in her lunch break, but it was just so boring. Being a shop girl, was never something that she'd planned and it felt like her life was missing something. She was going out of the door at the end of the day, chatting to her friends Shareen and Tina when the security guard reminded her of the lottery money for Wilson.

 

* * *

 

She headed down to the basement where Wilson worked, muttering under her breath. All she wanted to do was to go home and collapse, maybe have some chips but no, here she was, still at work. “Wilson!” she called. “Wilson, I've got the lottery money. Are you there?” She looked about. He wasn't anywhere to be seen and his office was empty. “I can't hang about 'cos they're closing the shop. Wilson! Oh come on.” Where the hell was he? Had he gone deaf or something? She called a few more times before opening the door to a store room. It slammed shut behind her. Rose tried the door but it didn't open. “Is that someone mucking about? Who is it?” she called, more annoyed than scared at this point. She nearly leapt out of her skin when she saw the shop dummy heading towards her. “Right, you got me,” she said, trying to hide the fact that her voice was shaking. “Who's idea was this?” she demanded, trying for bravado. The dummies kept advancing and Rose began to feel a little frightened.

Rose backed away from the shop dummies, still holding the stupid money in one hand. It was starting to frighten her more than a bit now. They were just students, obviously, but it wasn't funny anymore, besides, most people would have stopped by now. She felt a wall at her back and stopped walking. She was stuck, surrounded by the dummies. They raised their hands in unison, and Rose closed her eyes, hoping that she was just about to be the butt of a huge joke. Then, she felt a hand, a normal, non-plastic hand, grab hers and she looked up, startled. There was another woman there, she looked older than Rose, about the same age as her mum. “Run,” the woman said, and pulled Rose away from the dummies just as they struck.

 

* * *

 

The Doctor saw the dummies crowding round a young blonde. She was brave, the Doctor would give her that, not many people would have the nerve to not be running by now. They raised their hands and something, she never knew what, prompted her to run over and grab the young woman's hand. What was she doing? She didn't travel with companions any more. The blonde looked up, confused, and the Doctor stared into those whiskey brown eyes. “Run!” she said, and she took off running, dragging the young blonde with her. For the first time since the war, she felt complete and the exhilaration of the chase hit her once again. It was _always_ better with a companion or two.

 

* * *

 

The woman dragged Rose into a lift and the doors began to close just as one of the dummies put it's arm through the doors. Rose watched, equal parts fascinated and horrified, as the woman wrestled the arm off of the dummy. It came off with a pop and the doors closed. The lift started moving.

“You pulled his arm off,” she said in disbelief.

“Yep, plastic.” The woman threw the arm at Rose, who saw it was indeed plastic.

Even while she was trying to make sense of the impossible, Rose studied the woman who had rescued her. She was taller than Rose, with short black hair and piercing blue eyes. Rose could still feel the jolt that had run through her body when she'd first seen those eyes boring into hers. She wore a leather jacket and dark blue jeans with black Doc martins on her feet. Rose got the feeling that this was someone to be scared of, but strangely she was unafraid. Perhaps because this woman had saved her.

“That makes sense,” she said, when Rose proposed her students theory. “Well done.”

“Well whoever they are,” Rose said. “They're gonna be in big trouble when Wilson finds them.”

“Who's Wilson?” The woman asked as the lift doors opened.

“Chief electrician,” Rose replied.

“Wilson's dead.” She said it bluntly, like she was used to seeing people die, and then they were going down the corridor. Rose was almost running to keep up with the woman's longer stride as she complained and demanded answers, determined to get to the bottom of what was going on and why the woman was acting like this. She was going on about relay stations and blowing people up and living plastic- Rose couldn't make any sense of it, but the woman was holding what she thought looked like a bomb and then she was pushing Rose out of the door and telling her to go and eat beans on toast. Then the door was shut, and Rose was left staring at it blankly, her mind reeling. Then the door opened again. “I'm the Doctor by the way,” the woman said. “Who're you?”

“Rose.”

“Nice to meet you Rose,” the woman said. “Now run for your life!” And then the door was shut again and Rose walked along the pavement, still carrying that stupid arm. She turned back to look at Henricks, just as the store exploded. She ran the rest of the way home, completely missing the nondescript blue police box standing half hidden on the street.

 

* * *

 

The Doctor walked back into her TARDIS and patted the console absent-mindedly. Why had she saved that little shop girl? It could have been disastrous to her plan and she wasn't anybody important, just a stupid little ape, but something had made her save that girl, and ask her name. Rose. Pretty, but still with a spiky defence, much like the girl that had been determined to try and make sense of something her human brain couldn't possibly understand. It suited her. Shaking her head, the Doctor tried to forget the image of those startled brown eyes staring at her in shock and confusion and focused on tracking down the Nestene Consciousness. It would cause havoc on a world that used so much plastic.

The next day, the Doctor was tracking a signal. So far, it had led her into a pretty run down area. The Powell estate, she thought it was called. She couldn't see why anyone would live here, but then she guessed that some people didn't have much choice. The signal led her to a small flat and she crouched down, just as the cat flap flipped up. The shop girl she'd met the day before, Rose, stared back at her. She stood as Rose opened the door. “What are you doing here?” she asked.

“I live 'ere,” Rose said.

“Well, what d'ya do that for?”

“Because I do. I'm only at home 'cos someone blew up my job.”

“I must have got the wrong signal.” The Doctor tried to ignore Rose. It normally made them leave her alone after a while. “You're not plastic are you?” She rapped her knuckles on Rose's forehead. “No. Bonehead. Bye then.” She turned to leave but Rose grabbed her arm and pulled her into the flat.

“You. Inside. Right now.” She looked at the girl in surprise.

“Who is it?” A voice called from further inside the flat.

“It's about last night. She's part of the inquiry. Give us ten minutes.” Rose said, heading into the flat. The Doctor followed her inside, only to be stopped at the door to a bedroom by a woman who she assumed was Rose's mother.

“She deserves compensation,” the woman said.

“We're talking millions,” the Doctor replied, following Rose. The girl was nattering on about something while she looked around the flat. Picking up a paperback on the coffee table she flicked through it and noticed a name on it. “Rose Tyler,” she said, trying the name out loud. It sounded right in her mouth, the syllables rolling off her tongue. Spotting a mirror, she glanced at her reflection before she could stop herself. She'd made a habit of avoiding all reflective surfaces after the war, not really wanting to know what she looked like. She examined her new face. Ah well, could have been worse. The ears were a bit conspicuous though.

It was while she was looking in the mirror that the Auton arm decided to attack. It was a brief fight by the Doctor's standards, nothing to really worry about, although she did manage to smash the coffee table before cutting of the signal using her sonic screwdriver. The girl insisted on following her down the stairs, even as the Doctor tried to escape her. Didn't Rose realise how dangerous she was? Everyone she met got hurt, sooner or later, and the thought of that whiskey-eyed, blonde-haired little shop girl getting hurt made her feel sick to her stomach. She tried to get the girl off her back, but she had the curiosity and perseverance and sheer stubbornness that was what she normally looked for in companions. It was like the universe was sending her a sign. It also made her damn hard to get rid of.

Eventually, she stopped though when Rose (when did she start thinking of the girl by her name? The girl was far less personal, far easier for her to forget) asked her who she was. The Doctor was _so_ tired of not being understood. If she could make this little ape understand, for just one minute, it would somehow make it better. “Do you know what we were saying about the Earth revolving?” she asked, looking back at Rose. “It's like when you're a kid,” she continued, although for her that was so long ago she'd almost forgotten. “The first time they tell you the Earth's turning and you just can't quite believe it because everything looks like it's standing still.” She looked down at Rose. “I can feel it.” She took Rose's hand, without quite meaning to. “The turn of the Earth. The ground beneath our feet spinning at a thousand miles an hour. The entire planet is hurtling round the sun at sixty seven thousand miles and hour and I can feel it. We're falling through space, you and me, clinging to the skin of this tiny little world and if we let go …” She let go of Rose's hand, feeling suddenly bereft. “That's who I am. Now forget me, Rose Tyler.” She felt the syllables roll off her tongue in that unique way and she grabbed the arm from Rose. “Go home.” The Doctor turned and walked away, heading towards the TARDIS and feeling with every step that she should be going the other way.

 

* * *

 

Then it was a couple of days later, and Rose was following her into the TARDIS to get away from the plastic replica of her boyfriend. Honestly, how had the girl not noticed, I mean, did he normally act like that? It had been a pretty bad copy but Rose hadn't seemed to notice anything was wrong with the boy. She did the usual 'bigger on the inside' bit, running in and out and the 'are you alien?' bit and the Doctor took the time to examine Rose as she hooked the plastic head into the console. The girl looked to be about nineteen, fairly pretty, more intelligent than most of the apes on this planet. Apparently she'd been concentrating on Rose too much as the plastic head melted and Rose started going on about how her boyfriend (Mickey? Rickey?) was dead, or whatever she was jabbering on about. The Doctor was far more concerned with stopping the Nestene Consciousness and surreptitiously watching Rose then worrying about the girl's boyfriend. (It caused a nasty feeling to swirl in her stomach when she even thought about the boy. It had been a long time since she'd felt anything like it, but she had a niggling suspicion it might be jealousy). It had been so long since she'd had a Companion she wasn't really sure how to act around them any more, so she ended up being awkward, sarcastic and sometimes even downright rude.

 

* * *

 

“What's it look like?” Rose asked, she wasn't entirely sure what the Doctor was looking for, but this she could help with.

“Like a transmitter,” the Doctor replied. “Big, round, dish. Slap bang right in the centre of London. It must be completely invisible.” Rose nodded behind her. The Doctor turned, but obviously couldn't see anything. “What?” she asked. Rose did it again. “What?” she asked again, more annoyed this time. Rose simply nodded behind her again, a small smile playing on her lips. She'd forgotten how great it felt to outsmart someone, even just a simple thing like this. Working at Henricks for so long, she'd forgotten how clever she was. The Doctor turned around again, and this time, she saw the London Eye. She turned back around grinning. “Fantastic!”

Rose ran alongside the Doctor as they headed towards the London Eye, and she felt a larger hand slip into hers and hold it firmly. They ran along the side of the bridge, heading towards the London Eye, and for a moment, Rose forgot about the imminent disaster, forgot about Mickey and her mum, she just focused on running and the woman who's hand was in hers.

 

* * *

 

Earlier, due to her annoyance at the boyfriend – she still didn't catch his name – and how much she had to focus to translate the garbage the Nestene Consciousness called a language, she had been rather short with Rose. The Doctor was regretting that now as she fought the Nestene Consciousness as it was looking pretty grim and she didn't want Rose's last memory of her to be a bad one. _Rassilon, what was she_ thinking _? Why the hell was the girl so important?_ Two of the shop dummies had found the anti-plastic she'd had inside her jacket and now her arms were pinned behind her. _Okay, maybe now wasn't the time to think about that._ “I wasn't going to use it!” She cried, but they didn't listen. Then they showed her that they'd captured the TARDIS and they were starting the invasion early. The Doctor forgot about trying to appear indifferent to Rose or to deny her feelings. For whatever reason, this girl was important to her and she couldn't just let her die. “Get out Rose!” she cried. “Just leg it now!” Things were going from bad to worse, when she heard the sound of metal on metal from behind her. Risking a look, she saw Rose grab hold of a chain dangling from the ceiling, and then the girl was swinging from the chain and she knocked the dummy that was holding the anti-plastic into the Nestene Consciousness. The Doctor managed to throw the dummy that was pinning her arms and then she caught Rose as the girl swung back towards her. They both looked down at the Nestene Consciousness and then the Doctor grinned at Rose. “Now we're in trouble,” she said. She put Rose down and headed up the stairs towards the TARDIS at a fast walk, trying to forget the feeling of that little body pressed against hers.

They were standing in an alley, and the Doctor locked eyes with Rose, ignoring her idiot of a boyfriend. “Right then, I'll be off. Unless...er... I don't know, you could come with me?” She sounded pretty casual but her hearts were beating double time in her chest. It had been so long since she'd had a Companion and there was something _special_ about Rose. She hadn't been planning on inviting the girl, but her hearts ached at the idea of leaving her behind.

“Don't,” Mickey said, grabbing her round the waist. “She's an alien. She's a thing.”

“He's not invited.” The Doctor said without missing a beat. She offered a few more enticements to Rose, trying to calm her racing hearts. This was no big deal, she used to pick up Companions all the time. She ignored the voice in the back of her head that insisted there was something _special_ about Rose.

“Is it always this dangerous?” Rose asked, and the Doctor's heats sank.

“Yeah.”

“Yeah, I can't. I've er, I've got to go and find my mum and someone's got to look after this stupid lump, so... ” she trailed off.

“Okay,” the Doctor said, grinning. “See you around.” As soon as she closed the door behind herself, her face fell. Her hearts felt like they'd torn in two, especially with the war being so recent. She didn't understand _why_ though. This shouldn't be happening. Scowling, she began flicking levers on the TARDIS getting her to fly away from London 2005. The TARDIS de-materialised, but she wouldn't fly away. “What's wrong?” the Doctor asked, worried that the run in with the Nestene Consciousness had hurt her oldest friend in some way. An image of Rose floated into her head. “She wants to stay with him. She doesn't want to come adventuring with me,” the Doctor argued. The image of Rose appeared more forcefully. And then the Doctor's wrist began to itch. She looked at it in confusion, before slowly pulling back her sleeve. All Time Lords had a name written on their wrist, their 'perfect match' as it were. The Doctor's had never appeared, even though she was much older than the age when it should appear and after the war she'd realised that it probably never would. All the other Time Lords were dead and it was practically unheard of for someone to have a match that wasn't another Time Lord. Against all probability there was a name there now, written in circular Gallifreyan. 

_Rose Tyler._

 

* * *

 

Rose turned to go, pulling Mickey with her. She was mildly disappointed that she hadn't gone with the Doctor, but she had to the responsible thing, she couldn't just leave her mum and Mickey and go gallivanting off across space with someone she'd only just met. Then there was a wheezing, groaning noise behind her, and she turned to see the blue police box appear again. The door opened and the Doctor popped her head out again, a manic grin settling onto her features.

“By the way, did I also mention that it travels in time?” she asked. It took one moment, two, and then Rose grinned. She kissed Mickey on the cheek.

“Thanks,” she said.

“For what?” he asked, confused.

“Exactly,” she replied. Then she was running towards the TARDIS and inside it. The Doctor grinned from her position next to the console.

“So,” she said. “All of time and space Rose, everything that was, everything that is, and everything that ever will be, where do you want to go next?”

“It really travels in time?” Rose asked.

“'Course it does.”

“And you're really an alien.”

“Yeah.” The Doctor tensed slightly. “You okay with that?”

“Yeah.”

“Fantastic.” Rose frowned, curious.

“So how are you different to us humans then?”

“Oh, I've got a respiratory bypass system, a lower body temperature, bigger brain, two hearts.” She turned towards the console.

“What?” The Doctor turned back.

“I've got two hearts.” Rose stared at her.

“Really?”

“Yeah.” She grabbed Rose's hand and pressed it to her wrist. Rose could feel the odd pulse beneath her fingers. _One-two-three-four, one-two-three-four, one-two-three-four._ “Right then, Rose Tyler,” the Doctor said, pulling away. As she did so, Rose noticed the odd tattoo on her wrist, a series of interlocking circles. “Where do you want to go? Backwards or forwards in time. It's your choice.” She knew she was grinning; that daft, slightly manic grin this body favoured, but she couldn't seem to help herself. _Finally,_ things were back the way they should be. “What's it going to be?”

 


	2. Tea and Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I posted this yesterday. Sorry about that, guess I'm still learning how to work this site.

The Doctor rubbed her cheek as she entered the console room. God could Rose's mother slap! Admittedly, she probably should have paid more attention to the date, but she'd honestly thought they'd only been gone for a day. Although their trip hadn't gone too well either. It had been rather selfish of her to take Rose to watch the earth burn, but deep in her hearts, she'd wanted Rose to know how she felt, with her world gone. Then Cassandra had turned up, or the 'bitchy trampoline' as Rose had called her, which the Doctor whole heartedly agreed with. Then they'd come back to Earth, and the Doctor had nearly been slapped into another regeneration by that Tyler woman. “Note to self,” she mumbled as she headed under the console to see if she could fix the time faults. “Never give Rose a reason to slap me. Knowing my luck she'll slap as hard as her mother.” That hadn't even been the start of their problems. Slitheen in Downing Street. What the hell had that been all about? Harriet Jones hadn't helped either, going on about how could she be an alien if she sounded like she was from the north? And then she'd hesitated between blowing Downing Street up and losing Rose. That decision had hurt harder than it should've. The words echoed in her head. _I could save the world but lose you._ Rose was the first real friend she'd had since the War, the only person other than the TARDIS that she could talk to. The thought of losing her... well, it didn't bear thinking about.

 

She was engaged in trying not to fix the chameleon circuit (whatever she told Rose, about how the TARDIS used to be so good at blending in, she actually liked the TARDIS as it was, and Rose now referred to 'TARDIS blue' as a colour, which the Doctor counted as a win) when Rose entered the console room. She'd gone to have a shower and get changed after Mickey the Idiot had blown up Downing Street and now she returned to the console room and plunked herself down on the floor next to the Doctor. “Brought ya some tea,” Rose said.

“Ta.” The Doctor slid out from under the console and took the mug Rose handed her. How Rose had found out how she liked her tea she would never know, but she certainly appreciated a good cuppa.

“Doctor,” Rose said, just as the Doctor took a sip of her tea.

“Mmm?”

“When ya said earlier, ya could save the world but lose me, what did ya mean?” The Doctor sighed, how was she going to explain this to Rose, who'd likely never seen a war before?

“There was a war, Rose, between my people, the Time Lords and a race called the Daleks. My people were destroyed, I was the only survivor, and since then, I've been on my own. You're the first friend I've had in quite a while Rose, and I didn't want to lose you. I didn't care if I died. In fact, before I met you there was a certain appeal to it, but you're my friend and I didn't want you to die.”

~ ~ ~

Rose frowned. She'd never pegged the Doctor as the type to be suicidal. Sure, making decisions like the one in Downing Street must take its toll, but she hadn't expected it to be that bad. She suddenly felt sorry for the woman sat next to her quietly sipping he tea. It must be awfully hard to carry on, knowing that you were the only one left, so she decided to change the subject, as the Doctor clearly didn't like talking about it. “When ya said nine 'undred years,” she said slowly. “Did ya mean that you're nine 'undred years old?”

“Yeah, pretty much. I haven't always looked like this, o'course.”

“What?” The Doctor sighed again, mentally kicking herself. Now she'd have to explain regeneration to Rose as well, which had frightened off a few would-be companions.

“Us Time Lords, we have this little trick, this way of cheating death. It's called 'regeneration'. Basically, every cell in my body dies, but I...” she hesitated, how to explain it? “I get a new body. I look different and I sound different, I even have a different personality, but my feelings still stay the same.” Please, please, let her understand. She'd lost a Companion in one of her earlier regenerations when they hadn't been able to come to terms with the fact that she still had the same feelings, that she was still the same person.

“So, if ya regenerated right now,” Rose said. “I'd still be ya friend?”

“Yeah, 'course. Dunno what I'd do without ya, Rose.”

“So, 'ow many times can you do this, is there a limit?”

“Yeah. You get thirteen lives in a regeneration cycle. In the war they were handing out new cycles left, right and centre, but people needed them.”

“How many lives have you had then?” Rose asked.

“This is my ninth, so far. I regenerated after the war. Changed the desktop as well,” she added, getting to her feet and offering Rose a hand.

“Desktop?” Rose asked, taking the offered hand and pulling herself up.

“Console room,” the Doctor clarified. “The TARDIS changes her interior some times.”

“I hope she doesn't change it too soon,” Rose said. “I like it like this.”

“Me too.”

 

Then the atmosphere seemed to change, and the Doctor was striding towards the door. “Come on then, Rose. You need some sleep if we're going to go anywhere tomorrow, and I could probably do with a kip myself.”

“Where are we going tomorrow?” Rose asked.

“Dunno yet,” the Doctor said. “Might go to Victorian London. Or I've always wanted to meet Charles Dickens. Or we could go to a Pelusian market, great people, the Pelusians, although they do talk kind of funny. Or...” She tailed off, looking around. She appeared to have lost Rose, although that was probably more due to her brisk pace then Rose's inattention. The door to her room was just in front of her, and she shrugged. She might as well have a quick nap. She never usually slept, but after being slapped by Jackie Tyler she reckoned anyone could do with a nap. She shuddered to think what would have happened if she'd been in a male body (which had happened a fair few times). Jackie would have probably accused her of being a pervert and abducting Rose for obscene reasons. She really might have been slapped into regenerating. Now there was a thought. How ignominious would that have been? It was probably the saddest excuse for regenerating ever, being slapped by someone's Mum.

~ ~ ~

It was much later that night when Rose woke up suddenly. She looked at the clock and frowned. It was only three in the morning, surely the Doctor hadn't got into trouble already? She heard a noise again, it sounded like a faint cry for help. She got up quickly, throwing on a hoodie against the chill of the TARDIS corridors. The silly alien had probably blown up the toaster again, or made the TARDIS console spark and burnt herself. For someone who claimed to be a genius, the Doctor seemed to have difficulty with the more domestic and mundane aspects of life. Checking the console room and the kitchen, Rose found them both empty. That was odd. Then she heard it again, it was much closer this time, and it sounded like her name. She headed towards it, then there was a scream. “ _ROSE!”_ She almost ran into the door in her haste to get there, and she threw it open. It was a bedroom. The Doctor's bedroom by the looks of things. Rose hastily flicked on the light and saw the Doctor thrashing on the bed. Her face was screwed up in pain, and she shouted Rose's name again. “I'm here,” Rose cried, running to the side of the bed and trying to comfort her. “I'm here Doctor, I'm right here!”

~ ~ ~

_Rose, Rose! Where is that daft girl, doesn't she know that this place is about to blow up? We have to find some shelter. She said she'd be with Harriet Jones, but she isn't. Where is she? Rose! Oh please don't say the Slitheen have her, they're not known for their mercy and they'll do anything to make me give up the planet. Who's that there... It isn't Rose. It_ can't _be Rose... Rose? ROSE!_

~ ~ ~

The Doctor jerked awake when someone spoke her name, and she felt rather than saw the hand holding hers and the one on her brow. “Doctor, are you alright?” She sat up rather unsteadily, not taking her eyes off Rose.

“I'm fine Rose, it was just a nightmare.” Since the Doctor seemed unwilling to let go of her hand, Rose settled herself on the edge of her bed.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Rose asked.

“No.” She spoke quickly and shook her head, something almost like terror filling her eyes. Talking about it made it real, and she never wanted that to be real.

“Hey, it's all right, I'm here,” Rose said softly. She wrapped an arm around the Doctor and felt her tense for a moment, but then the Doctor returned the hug. Rose just sat there, silently, trusting that the Doctor would talk. Eventually, the other woman spoke, softly.

“It was awful, Rose. We were in Downing Street and Rickey was about to blow it up and I couldn't find you anywhere.” Her arms tightened around Rose. “I thought I'd lost you Rose.”

“It's Mickey,” Rose said.

“Mickey, Rickey, same difference.” She could feel the Doctor relaxing, but the other woman was still a far cry from her usual self, although she must be feeling better if she was insulting Mickey. Rose stifled a yawn. It was three in the morning, and she was dog tired, but she didn't want to leave the Doctor. She'd never seen the other woman look so scared, not even when she told Mickey to blow up Downing Street. Making up her mind, Rose wriggled out of the Doctor's arms and lay down, pulling the covers up to her chin. “What are you doing?” the Doctor asked.

“Going to sleep,” Rose replied. “I'm tired and you could do with some sleep, but I'll be blowed if I'm leaving you all alone.” The Doctor stared into space for a moment, surprised that Rose knew her so well, and then she shrugged. She clicked her fingers.

“Lights.” The lights went out and the Doctor laid down next to Rose.

“You think you're so impressive,” Rose said, grinning.

“I _am_ so impressive.” The Doctor replied.

“'Course ya are,” Rose said, yawning again. “Now be quiet, I'm trying to get some sleep.” The Doctor grinned and closed her eyes. She might as well get some shut-eye, after all, it's not like she'd be able to go anywhere tonight with Rose having laid claim to one of her hands.

 


	3. Daleks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, I would like to apologise for leaving this for so long. I don't even really have an excuse, but I am incredibly lazy and since it was half-term this week I didn't feel like doing any work. I wish I could say that I have a long chapter to make up for it, but this one is mostly a filler chapter in the Doctor's point of view so we get to know her and her view of their relationship a little better (hopefully).

The TARDIS landed and the Doctor and Rose walked out. “Where are we?” Rose asked.

“Earth. Utah, North America. About half a mile underground.” Rose grinned her tongue in teeth smile.

“When are we then?”

“About two thousand and twelve. You'd be twenty six.” Another reminder that Rose aged, that she was human, but the Doctor pushed it into the back of her mind. She found a light switch and switched it on.

“It's a museum,” Rose said, looking around.

“Oh, look at you,” the Doctor said, examining a big display case, not really listening to Rose.

“What is it?” Rose asked.

“An old friend. Well, an old enemy. The stuff of nightmares reduced to a museum exhibit. I'm getting old.” _And I am. I am so, so old._

“If someone's collecting aliens, that makes you exhibit A,” Rose said worriedly.

“Yeah.” The Doctor touched the display case and alarms went off. “Oops.”

“Business as usual then,” Rose muttered, getting a laugh from the Doctor.

~ ~ ~

Rose had decided that she really didn't like Henry Van Statten. She decided it around floor forty seven when she was gasping for breath. He might be a genius, but he treated people like things, and just look at what he'd done to that poor alien he'd captured. Admittedly said alien had then decided to try to kill everyone and they were now running for their lives (as usual) but nothing should be tortured like that. They'd just reached floor forty six when Rose got a stitch. She needed to get fitter. You'd have thought with all the running her and the Doctor did she'd be better at it by now. She tried to ignore it and just run on, but it slowed her down a little. A little too much as it turned out. Adam rolled under the bulkhead with inches to spare, but Rose was too far behind. The bulkhead clanged shut. “Rose, where are you? Rose, did you make it?”

“Sorry Doctor, I was a bit slow.” Up in the office with Van Statten and Goddard the Doctor stared at the computer screen in horror. She barely heard what Rose said, but she heard the Dalek scream.

“Exterminate! Exterminate!” And then the communicator went silent. She pulled it from her ear, her hearts breaking. Oh God, how was she going to tell Jackie? And Mickey. She'd never had to do that before, tell someone's mother that they'd died. And for Rose. Why did it have to be Rose? _No, no, don't think about that, focus on Jackie and Mickey, don't think about it. Don't think about it. It can't be real. It is. Don't think about it.  
_

She did the next bit on autopilot. Argue with Van Statten, yell at Adam, try and fix her broken hearts. And then Rose appeared on the screen. "You're alive!" She couldn't hide the relief in her voice. Rose was there, she was real, she was alive. The Dalek said something about feelings and Rose, but she wasn't really listening, she was just exulting in the fact that Rose was alive. She refused to let Rose die again, and Van Statten said something about bleeding hearts, but she wasn't listening. They had to kill the Dalek. It could hurt Rose, and she would never allow that.

Apparently Adam had a lot of alien guns in his office. The Doctor rummaged through them. “Broken, broken, hair dryer, broken... Ah hah!” She lifted out a large gun, one capable of damaging even a Dalek. She'd never really liked guns before, but this body had been born in the war, in fire and blood and anguish, and it was very capable of using a gun. It was a bit strange, muscle memory that you'd never learnt, but her hands seemed to know how to handle a gun, so she let them.

What the hell was wrong with that Dalek? It must have been when Rose had touched it, because that was not normal for a Dalek. It was only when Rose said, “What about you, Doctor, what the hell are you changing into?” That she realised she was aiming a gun at her best, and only, friend. _What the hell am I doing? I'm dangerous. I should send her home. No. No, I can't._ _I couldn't lose her._ She stammered something and put it down, suddenly feeling very like the soldiers she professed to hate. Was this what it felt like, making the wrong choice? When you got so wrapped up in hate that you didn't realise that what you were doing was wrong. Was that what it felt like, being a Dalek? _Gods, what am I turning into?_

~ ~ ~

Rose wanted to take Adam along with her. That idiot. Was that how you impressed a girl, nowadays, you leave her behind to get killed? She tried to deflect it, but she found it difficult to refuse Rose anything, especially when she'd nearly died. Sighing, she agreed, but in her mind she was troubled. Rose was bringing him along as a buffer between them, and even if she didn't realise it, the Doctor did. She didn't blame her though, it must have been horrifying, having someone you thought of as a friend point a gun at you. She quickly shut off all the memories of Koschei that that thought brought up. That boy was going to be trouble, she just knew it.

She was right. Adam Mitchell was an absolute nightmare. He didn't like the TARDIS and kept getting lost. The Doctor suspected the feeling was mutual, as none of her former companions had had anywhere near this much trouble. They landed in the future and Adam fainted when he saw space. “He's your boyfriend,” The Doctor had said, feeling a little smug about the whole thing.

“Not any more,” Rose had replied, making the Doctor's hearts a little lighter.

She tried, for Rose's sake she tried, she really did. She tried to go back to the best version of who she was, even if she wasn't sure who that was anymore. “You can't just read the guide book Adam,” she said. “You've got to throw yourself in. Eat the food, use the wrong verbs, get charged double and end up kissing complete strangers... Or is that just me?” Rose had snickered and then she and Adam had wandered off. Then there had been that whole business with the people with holes in their heads and the wrong technology for the time, and then Adam had wandered off and got a hole in his head and there had been the Jagrafess. It had been business as usual, really, but the Doctor could have done without Adam. He was a bit of a wet blanket to be honest, and it had added another doubt to the ones already circling in the Doctor's head. Even when Rose had said, "Better with two." She couldn't help but feel that she was losing Rose. The Doctor hated feeling this insecure, but the war had sent her spiralling into a black depression and Rose was slowly bringing her out. It would kill her to lose Rose now.

 

They left him at his house after the thing with the hole in his head, although he was not amused when they kept opening it by clicking their fingers. “You didn't have to leave him like that,” Rose said.

“Hmm?” The Doctor looked up from where she was tinkering with the console.

“You didn't have to leave him like that,” Rose repeated. “It's not his fault he's a bit of an idiot.”

“He was just looking out for himself Rose, he didn't care about the repercussions of what he was doing.”

“Let's not argue,” Rose said. She came over and peered at what the Doctor was doing. “How about a film?”

“Huh?” The Doctor looked up, confused.

“A film,” Rose clarified. “We could watch a film. Maybe one of the Harry Potters. I've always liked them.” The Doctor sighed and stood up, pocketing her sonic screwdriver.

“Yeah, fine, whatever.” She couldn't deny Rose anything, even when she tried.

“Really?” Rose looked delighted.

“Yeah. You usually fall asleep half way through anyway, so it doesn't really matter what we watch.”

“Come on then.” Rose practically dragged her through the TARDIS to the film room, and the Doctor followed, grinning.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who read this. It makes me feel a little less like I'm going mad. (And at least if I am going mad I'm in good company) :)


	4. Introducing Captain Jack Harkness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. This chapter got away from me slightly. Basically I rewrote the episodes Empty Child and The Doctor Dances. I was just going to introduce Jack with a little bit of the episodes but there are some really great lines in these two episodes and I just couldn't choose. Despite the length it's a bit brief so I'm hoping that anyone reading it has a vague notion of the story line. I wrote this quite quickly so if you see any errors please don't hesitate to tell me.  
> The writing in italics is thoughts that the characters are having and it jumps around a little but it's mainly from a third person POV. Please enjoy.

The Doctor was in the console room, fiddling with some of the settings but not really paying attention. By human standards it had been almost a week since that disastrous trip where she'd taken Rose back in time to see her dad die. She winced almost imperceptibly at the memories. _Rassilon, I was stupid. Biggest brain in the cosmos and I still can't figure out one human girl._ She glanced at the clock, almost groaning when she saw it had barely been three minutes since she last looked. Rose was normally up by now, but lately she'd been sleeping in and it bothered the Doctor. _What if she doesn't want to travel any more? What if she wants to go home?_ Frowning, she shook those thoughts from her head. Rose loved travelling, she'd said so on numerous occasions.

A slight noise alerted her to the fact that Rose was coming into the console room and she tried harder to look like she was focussing on the scanner. “Morning Rose,” she said.

“Mornin' Doctor. Anything interesting?” She was confused for a moment, before realising Rose meant the scanner.

“Nah- hang on. Wait a minute. There's an alert.” In seconds the TARDIS was into gear and flying after a small space craft.

“What's the alert?” Rose asked.

“Mauve.” Rose raised an eyebrow.

“Okay.”

“It's got a very basic flight computer,” the Doctor continued. “I've hacked in and slaved it to the TARDIS. Where it goes, we go.”

“And that's safe is it?”

“Totally.” There was a banging noise and the whole TARDIS shook. “Reasonably, should have said reasonably there.” There was another wobble and the Doctor flashed a reassuring grin at Rose. “It's fine.”

“Never said it wasn't,” Rose replied grinning. She opened her mouth to ask another question but the Doctor was talking again.

“No, no, no, no! It's jumping time tracks, getting away from us.” She flashed a look at Rose. “Hold on.”

 

They'd landed. The Doctor grinned at Rose. “Do you know how long you can knock around space without bumping into Earth?”

“Five days? Or is that just when we're out of milk?”

“Of all the species in the universe and it has to come out of a cow.” The banter comforted Rose. If the Doctor was taking the time to joke around it couldn't be that serious. Rose chattered with the Doctor on autopilot, only paying attention when the Doctor made a remark about her t-shirt. “Are you sure about that t-shirt?”

“Too early to say,” Rose replied, looking down at herself. “I'm taking it out for a spin.” Then she spotted the child on the roof. “Doctor? Doctor? There's a kid up there!” Silly alien had vanished again. She looked around and then went up the fire escape. The little boy was calling for his Mum. He was probably scared stiff. Talking of scared stiff, that was how she was feeling hanging from a barrage balloon with a whole load of German planes heading for her. “Okay. Maybe _not_ this t-shirt.” Where _was_ the Doctor?

Rose screamed when she lost her grip, but something caught her. “Okay, okay, I've got you,” a voice said. It was a male voice with an American accent, Rose noted. She would say she was trying her hardest not to panic, but after travelling with the Doctor for a while situations like this stopped surprising you. “Who's got me?” Rose asked. Then she thought of a better question. “Who's got me and, you know, how?”

“I'm just programming your descent pattern,” the voice said. “Keep as still as you can and keep your hands and feet inside the light field.” Now that he mentioned it, Rose had noticed a light around her, but she hadn't paid much attention to it, being too busy trying not to panic.

“Descent pattern?” She was floating in the air over London in the middle of the Blitz. Even for her, this wasn't an everyday occurrence. He still wouldn't answer her questions, keeping her suspended in mid-air. She'd had to turn her phone off as well. What if the Doctor called?

“Oh yeah, that's a real load off, that is. I'm hanging in the sky in the middle of a German air-raid with the Union Jack across my chest, but hey, my mobile phone's off.”

“Hold tight,” he said, a moment later.

“To what?” Rose demanded. Honestly.

“Fair point.”

Then she was in someone's arm and they were going on about a tractor beam. “Hello.”

“Hello.”

“Hello.” He wasn't really in focus, but he looked _gorgeous_. Was that him or her eyes? “Sorry, that was hello twice there. Dull, but you know, thorough.”

“Are you all right?” he asked.

“Fine.” Actually, she was feeling a little dizzy. He put her down carefully. “Why, are you expecting me to faint or something?” The room was spinning now. That couldn't be good.

“You look a little dizzy.” Never let it be said that Rose Tyler let someone else get the last word in.

“What about you? You're not even in focus.” Then the floor seemed to rush towards her and everything went black.

~ ~ ~

The Doctor was starting to worry about Rose. You wouldn't have thought it, the way she was chatting to Nancy, but she really needed to find Rose before the girl did something stupid."And I want to find a blonde in a Union Jack. A specific one, mind you. I didn't just wake up this morning with a craving." _Relax. It's only London, 1941 in the middle of a night raid by German planes. What could possibly go wrong? She's a shop girl from 21st century London, bright blonde hair and a Union Jack emblazoned on her front. What_ isn't _going to go wrong?_ Why were they leaving that one kid out in the cold and what did Nancy mean, he's _empty?_ When she opened the door he was gone.

~ ~ ~

Rose woke up. She wasn't on the TARDIS, instead she was with some American bloke on his very Spock-like space-craft. Now she could see properly she had to admit he _was_ charming. He had the bad boy looks to go with the space craft and his flirty attitude. That was psychic paper. “Liar,” she said, feeling a little proud at catching him out. She could _never_ tell whether the Doctor was using hers or not. “This is psychic paper. It tells me whatever you want it to tell me.” Like that time the Doctor had shown it to her...

“ _What's that?”_

“ _This? This is psychic paper Rose. It tells people whatever I want it to tell them.” The Doctor looked thoughtfully at it. “Do you know, Rose, I spent more time in prisons than I did saving the galaxy before I found this.”_

“ _Yeah, t_ _hat, I can believe,” Rose had said, grinning at the affronted look on the Doctor's face when she said it._

“ _Quiet you.”_

Okay. Those nanogenes were _seriously_ cool. She wondered if she could talk the Doctor into getting some of them, it would be so useful when she came back to the TARDIS covered in scrapes and bruises from their latest adventure. The Doctor never seemed to get injured, or if she did, she'd never told Rose. “Shall we have a drink on the balcony?” The man, Jack, asked. “Bring up the glasses.” Balcony? His spaceship had a _balcony?_ She had to smile at the memories Jack parking next to Big Ben brought up. _Couple of decades from now a spaceship's gonna crash into that._

“You have an invisible spaceship.”

“Yeah.”

“Tethered up to Big Ben for some reason.”

“First rule of active camouflage. Park somewhere you'll remember.” Oh that was so true, maybe she should tell the Doctor that, then maybe they wouldn't always lose the TARIDS.

~ ~ ~

What the hell was a Time agent? And where was the Doctor when you needed her? Rose had _no_ idea what Jack was going on about, only that it sounded like that thing the Doctor had been looking for. Perhaps Jack could find her. “So, this companion of yours,” Jack said. “Does she handle the business?”

“Well, I delegate a lot of that, yeah,” Rose said, buying for time.

“Well, maybe we should go find her.”

“And how're you gonna do that?”

“Easy. I'll do a scan for alien tech.”

“Finally, a professional.”

~ ~ ~

The Doctor glared at the handsome man who was with Rose, trying to ignore the fact that part of her mind was jumping for joy over the fact that Rose was safe and alive and here. Although maybe here wasn't the safest place at the moment. Did Rose have to pick such a ridiculous name?

“What was I supposed to say?” Rose demanded. “You don't have a name. Don't you ever get tired of Doctor? Doctor who?”

“Nine centuries in, I'm coping.” _I do have a name Rose, but I can't tell you and I do get tired of Doctor. So tired._ “Where've you been? We're in the middle of a London Blitz. It's not a good time for a stroll.”

“Who's strolling? I went by barrage balloon. Only way to see an air raid.”

“What?” The bottom dropped out of the Doctor's world. _Please, please tell me she's joking._

“Listen, what's a Chula warship?”

“Chula?” Right, she was going to get to the bottom of this with Captain flirt-with-anything-that-moves Jack Harkness.

Rose thought it was probably the Doctor's incessant questioning and glaring looks that finally persuaded Jack to tell the truth rather than the scary patients. The Doctor was very good at getting information out of people who didn't want to give it. She got the shock of her life when they all sat up and started asking for their mummy. Really, you would have thought that she'd be used to it by now, but things still took her by surprise every so often. The Doctor pushed Rose behind her, trying to shield her from the patients that were slowly closing in on them. The so-called Captain that Rose had found could look after himself. _This must be what the TARDIS feels like. I do wish Rose would stop bringing home strays._ That gave her an idea. “Go to your room.”

“Doctor?” Rose asked, almost like she feared she was losing her mind.

“Hush Rose.” The patients had stopped moving, thank God. “Go to your room. I mean it. I'm very, very angry with you. I'm very, very cross. Go to your room!” The patients all shuffled away, hanging their heads in shame and the Doctor sighed in relief. “I'm really glad that worked,” she said. “Those would have been terrible last words.”

“Why are they all wearing gas masks?” Rose asked.

“They're not,” Jack replied, looking around. “Those masks are made of flesh and bone.”

“How was your con supposed to work?” The Doctor asked suddenly. Jack looked at her. He was slightly scared of this other woman. She was clever, far too clever to have fallen for one of his con's for much longer, perhaps he'd better come clean.

“The perfect self-cleaning con,” he finished after briefly explaining it.

“Yeah, perfect,” the Doctor said. Jack looked at her. He was getting a strong hint of disapproval and he said as much. “Take a look around the room,” the Doctor said. “This is what your piece of harmless space junk did.”

“I don't know what's happening here,” Jack said. “But believe me, I had nothing to do with it.”

“I'll tell you what's happening,” the Doctor snapped. “You forgot to set your alarm clock. It's volcano day.” Those words shouldn't send a thrill of fear through him. He _knew_ he'd done nothing wrong. He pulled out his sonic blaster and got the door open when she asked, although he didn't normally take orders.

“Sonic blaster, fifty first century.” Rather than being impressed, there was a hint of disapproval in the Doctor's voice again. “Weapon factories of Villengard?”

“You've been to the factories?” Jack asked, slightly impressed despite himself.

“Once.”

“Well, they're gone now destroyed.” Was that a hint of a smile on her face? “Main reactor went critical, vaporised the lot.”

“Like I said, once. There's a banana grove there now. I like bananas. Bananas are good.” She walked off, leaving Jack staring after her.

~ ~ ~

The child's room was strange. The Doctor could feel emotions emanating from the walls. “Can you sense it?” she asked.

“Sense what?” Jack asked. The Doctor barely stopped herself from rolling her eyes. Of course they wouldn't be able to sense it.

“Funny little human brains,” she said, looking at them. “How do you get around in those things?”

“When she's stressed she like to insult species,” Rose explained to Jack.

“Not now Rose, I'm thinking.”

“Cuts herself slicing bread, does half an hour on life forms she's cleverer than.”

“It's afraid,” the Doctor said, suddenly realising. Something that a child should never, ever be. “Terribly afraid and powerful. It doesn't know it yet but it will. It's got the power of a god and I just sent it to it's room.” _Oh you idiot._ Rose said something about the tape but the Doctor wasn't listening, focusing more on the fear and adrenaline coursing through her veins. “I sent it to it's room. This is it's room.” She couldn't resist swapping Jack's gun for the banana. Conning the con man. There had to be something ironic about that, right?

“Who has a sonic screwdriver?” Jack demanded, once he'd got over the shock of going through the floor. He had to hand it to Rose; the girl was quick on her feet.

“I do,” the Doctor replied. She noticed Rose hadn't asked if Jack was all right.

“Who looks at a screwdriver and thinks, ooo, this could be a little more sonic?”

“What, you've never had a long night? Never been bored? Never had a lot of cabinets to put up?” _What's your game mister? What are you trying to hide? 'Cause if it hurts Rose..._

“Okay,” the Doctor said. “One, we've got to get out of here. Two, we can't get out of here. Have I missed anything?”

“Yeah, Jack just disappeared.” The Doctor stared at Rose. _What?_

“Rose? Doctor? Can you hear me? I'm back on my ship.” Jack's voice came out the radio.

“How're you speaking to us?” the Doctor demanded. _I think I've found something._

“Om-com,” Jack replied. _Ah hah!_ “I can call anything with a speaker grill.”

“Now there's a coincidence.” Rose looked at the Doctor. She had her I've-just-figured-something-out look on.

“What is?” Jack asked.

“The child can Om-com too.”

“He can?” _Yeah Rose, he can, and I think I've just figured this out._

 

The Doctor was fiddling with the bars on the window just for something to do. Rose was distracting just sitting there. She was talking mostly on auto-pilot, her stupid ego making her want to compete with Jack for Rose's affections. “Rose, I'm trying to resonate concrete.”

“Jack'll be back. He'll get us out so come on. The world doesn't end because the Doctor dances.” The Doctor looked at Rose's palms and something struck her. She wasn't sure what yet, but she followed it.

“Barrage balloon?”

“What? Oh yeah, about two minutes after you left me. Thousands of feet above London, middle of a German air-raid, Union Jack all over my chest.” The Doctor had to smile, that was Rose all over.

“I've travelled with a lot of people, but you're setting new records for jeopardy friendly.”

“Is this you dancing? Because I've got notes.” The Doctor sighed, she wished Rose would give up with the dancing already, but if she knew her Companion it was that once Rose had an idea in her head she never let go.

“Hanging from a rope thousands of feet above London, not a cut not a bruise.” She took Rose's hands, might as well give in, just this once.

“Yeah, I know. Captain Jack fixed me up.” Rose looked up and the Doctor was acutely aware of how close they were.

“Oh, we're calling him Captain Jack now, are we?” _Focus on the conversation, not on Rose._

“Well he is a Captain and his name is Jack.”

“He's not really a Captain, Rose.”

“You know what I think? I think you're experiencing Captain envy.” The Doctor didn't bother to refute that, Rose was too clever for her to slip an almost lie past. “You'll find your feet at the ends of your legs, you may care to move them.”

“If he ever was a Captain, he was defrocked.” If she kept the conversation on Jack, she might survive the whole dancing episode.

“Yeah? Shame I missed that.”

“Actually, I quit.” Rose jumped a mile when they heard Jack's voice. The Doctor, not so much. She had much more experience at hiding her emotions, even if Rose could read her like an open book. Besides she was more interested in the nanogenes. Really.

“We were talking about dancing,” she protested, to cut off any innuendos.

“It didn't look like talking,” Jack said, but thankfully he left it at that.

“It didn't feel like dancing,” Rose mumbled.

~ ~ ~

The Doctor wasn't angry with Jack, it wasn't his fault, but he could have tried to be a bit less obtuse. What was he expecting in an ambulance? The nanogenes were gonna cause havoc across the world if they didn't stop them. Then it hit her. Nancy was Rose's age, perhaps a little older. She said the little boy, Jamie was her brother. He was a bit little to be her brother surely? “How old were you five years ago? Fifteen, sixteen? Old enough to give birth anyway. He's not your brother is he? A single teenage mother in 1941. So you hid. You lied. You even lied to him.” The little boy was there, and she felt an ache deep in her hearts. Nancy and Jamie, they got a second chance. She hadn't. “Tell him, Nancy. The future of the human race is in your hands. Trust me and tell him.” A cloud of nanogenes surrounded Nancy when she hugged the little boy and Rose understandably started panicking.

“Shush. Come on please. Come on, you clever little nanogenes. Figure it out! The mother, she's the mother. It's got to be enough information. Figure it out.”

“What's happening?” Rose asked. Her little human brain couldn't understand.

“See? Recognising the same DNA.” She walked towards Jamie. “Oh come on, give me a day like this. Give me this one.” Carefully, ever so carefully, she removed the gas mask. A little boy blinked up at her, alive and healthy. She laughed, lifting him up and hugging him.

“Doctor, that bomb.”

“Taken care of.”

“How?”

“Psychology.” Jack caught it in his beam of light. The Doctor grinned. Maybe he wasn't so bad after all. She summoned the nanogenes, the little golden lights swarming around her hands.

“What are you doing?” Rose asked.

“Software patch. Going to email the upgrade.” She was grinning so hard her face was hurting. “You want moves Rose? I'll give you moves.” She threw the nanogenes at the patients. “Everybody lives Rose, just this once, everybody lives!”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter seemed to just write itself, so it's up earlier than I planned. The next couple are sort of written so there may be a little delay as my Art GCSE is eating up my time at the moment.  
> Also, I may have the tiniest little crush on John Barrowman and Jack, but don't tell anyone.


	5. A beach day and Cardiff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long, but I have the next couple of chapters all planned out now, so hopefully they should be up pretty soon. This chapter is basically two smaller ones stitched together as they weren't long enough on their own, so I hope it makes sense. Read and enjoy :)

Rose looked at the Doctor anxiously. They couldn't just _leave_ Jack there, even if he had tried to con them, but she felt bad for asking if they could save him when the Doctor was clearly so happy. The Doctor's face fell slightly. She hadn't liked the Captain that Rose had found, he was far too flirty and he had tried to con them...

“You did say everybody lives,” Rose reminded her.

“I s'pose I did,” the Doctor said sighing. She pulled another lever and they began to materialise in Jack's ship. “You and your pretty boys,” she murmured. Rose just smiled her tongue-in-teeth smile.

“Dance with me?” she asked.

~ ~ ~

Jack frowned. He could hear a song playing. He looked down the ship and he could see the Doctor and Rose dancing. He hesitated for a moment. He'd got the feeling that the Doctor didn't like him, and she was clearly much more intelligent and perceptive than a normal human being.

“ _Funny little human brains,” she'd said. “How do you get around in those things?”_

“ _She likes to insult species when she's stressed,” Rose had told him. “Cuts herself slicing bread, does half an hour on life forms she's more intelligent than.”_

“Well hurry up then!” Rose called, jolting him back to the present. He ran in and paused.

“Much bigger on the inside,” he said, amazed. There was a central console in the middle that was joined to the ceiling, but what caught Jack's attention was the couple dancing round it to Glen Miller. Rose was short and blonde, with a London accent and from probably about the twenty first century. The Doctor on the other hand was tall and dark, with a Northern accent and Jack had no idea what species she was. She was dressed in a leather jacket and Doc martin boots and she projected a 'don't mess with me' kind of feeling, completely opposite to Rose's open, friendly, talk to anyone approach to life. He wondered how the hell they managed to get along, they were so completely different. Then the Doctor swooped Rose into a dip, and the look she sent Jack clearly said 'hands off the blonde'. _I wonder if Rosie even knows how fierce a protector she has there?_ Jack mused. _He_ wasn't even allowed to dance with her.

“Welcome to the TARDIS,” the Doctor said. “She's a sentient ship, so I'd be nice if I were you.” She peered at the console and shook her head. “Rose, find him a room, would you? I've got to fix the helmic regulator. Chasing _someone's_ ship through time has knackered it again.” She sent a pointed look at Jack, who felt slightly ashamed of trying to con them.

~ ~ ~

It was the next morning, and Jack was wandering around the ship, trying to find the kitchen. Rose had shown it to him on her tour of the ship, but he could have sworn it had moved. Remembering what the Doctor had said about the ship being sentient, he decided to try to talk to it. Smiling, he turned his not inconsiderable charm on to the nearest wall. “Hey,” he said. “Captain Jack Harkness here. I don't suppose you could point me in the direction of the kitchen?” He heard what felt like a mental snort, but then he heard quiet conversation. Quietly turning the corner, he saw Rose sat on the counter in the kitchen, chatting away while the Doctor made tea.

“Rose,” the Doctor said, interrupting the girl's flow of chatter. “Ask Jack how he likes his tea.” Rose spun round.

“Jack, I didn't see you there!” she cried.

“I'll have coffee please,” Jack said. “And how did you know I was here, Doc?”

“Superior Time Lord biology,” the Doctor replied and Rose rolled her eyes. “Nice try, trying to charm the TARDIS, by the way,” she added. “Won't work, but nice try.”

They sat in silence for a couple of minutes, drinking their drinks, or at least, Rose and Jack had. The Doctor had practically swallowed hers with one gulp. Apparently she could cope with higher temperatures than humans could. “So,” she said. “If you've got over your spasm of domesticity, Rose, shall we continue to explore the universe?”

“You're in a good mood,” Rose said, standing to dump her mug in the sink. The Doctor grinned and grabbed Rose by the waist, lifting her up and spinning her round.

“Everybody lived, Rose,” she cried. “What more do I need to be in a good mood?” Rose shook her head, grinning fondly at the Doctor.

“Well, I don't know about you,” she said, glancing at Jack. “But I could do with some rest from all the running.”

“One relaxing planet coming up!” The Doctor said, already halfway down the corridor. Jack followed, feeling a bit unbalanced. So far, the Doctor had seemed quite dark and stormy, but here she was practically bursting with happiness.

~ ~ ~

Ten minutes later, the Doctor landed the TARDIS on a beach. “Here we are,” she said. “Most relaxing planet that I know of.”

“And how long is that likely to last once we arrive?” Rose was wearing a strappy pink sun-dress and a sun hat. The Doctor flashed a grin in her direction.

“Probably about five minutes. Jeopardy friendly, you are. Oh Jack, I forgot.” She turned to him, mock serious. “First rule of being a time traveller-”

“-Don't wander off,” her and Rose chorused.

“But yeah. Go, enjoy yourselves, try not to get into too much trouble.”

“What're you gonna do?” Rose asked. The Doctor shrugged.

“Oh, I'll have a bit of a look around. Haven't really been here before.”

An hour later, they were in a dungeon, and Rose wasn't talking to either Jack or the Doctor. “Really, Rose,” the Doctor said. “How was I supposed to know that sonic devices are against the law.”

“I didn't mean to insult the High Priestess,” Jack said. “I just said hello.” Rose sighed.

“I can't take you anywhere, can I?” Jack and the Doctor looked slightly ashamed of themselves. “Right, when we get out of here,” Rose said. “We are having a lazy day in the TARDIS. Absolutely no running for our lives. Agreed?”

“Agreed,” the Doctor said solemnly.

“Agreed,” Jack repeated. “But how are we gonna get out of here?” The Doctor grinned.

“That's the good thing about a sonic screwdriver, Jack. It's good at opening locks.”

Compared to some of the prisons they had been in, that was fairly simple to get out of. The Doctor had had the lock open in no time and then they'd snuck out. The locals spent so much time relaxing that they really weren't very good at running, although they were still pretty fast. Jack leant against the door of the TARDIS, breathing heavily. “How come you two can still breathe?” Rose laughed.

“You need to get fitter Jack. There's an insane amount of running involved.”

“Really?” The Doctor looked up. “There's too much running?”

“Maybe a little too much,” Rose said, with that tongue-in-teeth smile that was just for the Doctor.

“Dying here if anybody cares,” Jack said.

“You'll live,” the Doctor said. “The Universe awaits Jack, why waste a single moment?”

~ ~ ~

Cardiff. The rift had to be in bloody Cardiff, didn't it? And Rose just had to go and phone that idiot boyfriend of hers. Why did she even need her passport? The Doctor glowered at the wall from where she was up a ladder fixing things. She snickered when she heard Rickey at the door. “Who the hell are you?” Oh, yeah, she might have forgotten to tell Jack about Rickey.

“What do you mean who the hell am I? Who the hell are you?”

“Captain Jack Harkness.” Could he even say that without flirting? “Whatever you're selling we're not buying.” She watched Rickey and Rose from the corner of her eye. “How come I never get any of that?” Jack asked, shaking her from her thoughts.

“Buy me a drink first.” Two could play at that game.

“Such hard work.”

“But worth it.”

She couldn't help a smile though when Rickey called Jack out on the innuendos. It was so true. Captain of the Innuendo squad. She'd have to remember that. “Cardiff, early twenty first century and the wind's coming from the east. Trust me. Safest place in the universe.” She really ought to stop saying things like that, people were starting to take it as a challenge. They were in a café and Jack was regaling Rose and Rickey with some of his tall tales when she saw the newspaper. She turned to them, holding up the front page. “And I was having such a nice day.”

Jack came up with a plan, all military-like and professional. The Doctor grinned. Even in the war she'd never sounded that professional, but it seemed to suit him, just like his flirty personality. It wouldn't let him do to get confused about who was in charge here though. “Excuse me. Who's in charge?”

“Sorry. Awaiting orders Ma'am.” She'd get him for that later.

“Right, here's the plan.” She paused. Bugger. Oh well, they'd go with Jack's. “Like he said. Nice plan. Anything else?”

They had her cornered. They had her. Wait. “Who's on exit four?” Jack asked.

“That was Mickey.”

“Here I am.”

“Mickey the idiot.” Then Margaret used a teleport and the Doctor smirked. This was going to be almost too easy. “I could do this all day.”

“This is persecution. Why can't you just leave me alone? What did I ever do to you?”

“You tried to kill me and destroy this entire planet.”

“Apart from that.”

Her stupid pride meant that she ended up going to dinner with a homicidal maniac. Okay, so it wasn't the first time, but it still wasn't a good idea. At least it would get her out of the TARDIS, it was killing her, wondering when Rose was going to come back tonight. Or if. Then everything went south with the rift opening. Rose. She was out there somewhere. And Jack. He was right on top of the rift, although the TARDIS was probably one of the safest places to be at the moment. She was so busy worrying about Rose an Jack that she didn't realise what Margaret was doing.

Rose. Oh gods. She had Rose. The Doctor tried to keep it together when she just wanted to panic and deep in her mind she felt the TARDIS reply. The console opened and she told Margaret to look, even while begging that Rose wouldn't. It would burn up her little human body in seconds, but it was all right, because she let Rose go and it was all fine. They were safe, Jack and Rose. They were safe, and that was all that mattered.

 


	6. A memory that hasn't happened yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's pretty short, sorry about that, but the next one will probably be quite a bit longer and I needed to set the scene for it to happen. Quite a bit of angst on the Doctor's part here, you may recognise some lines from Ten and Eleven, they won't appear in this particular story but some of the lines are just too good to pass up and I do think that Nine would share those sentiments.

Rose frowned when she saw Jack wandering round the TARDIS in the middle of the night wearing only his boxer shorts and a pair of bed socks. “Jack,” she said. “What are you doing wandering round the TARDIS half-dressed?”

“I could ask you the same question Rosie,” he replied, eyeing her up. Rose crossed her arms across her chest self-consciously, wishing she'd thought to put a jumper on over her tank-top, but she'd been too worried about the Doctor. “Have you seen the Doctor's room?” she asked. “I heard her calling me.”

“Me too and no, sorry.” They both looked around. There was a faint humming from the TARDIS, but apart from that there was only empty corridors. Then there was another cry.

“ _Rose!”_ They heard it more with their minds than they did with their ears. “ _Jack! Rose! NO!”_ They both began to run in the direction of the shouts. Nothing good would come of the Doctor screaming like that. The TARDIS seemed to recognise their predicament, for suddenly everything seemed to shift and there was a brief disorientating moment before they were standing in front of the Doctor's blue door.

Later, Jack swore blind that the door opened before either him or Rose touched it and they both charged in. The Doctor's room was quite sparse and utilitarian, but there were thousands of pictures covering the walls. There were lots from the Doctor's earlier regenerations, people that neither Rose or Jack recognised, but a surprising amount were from this regeneration, the earlier ones depicting just Rose and the Doctor but others with Jack in as well. Neither Rose nor Jack really payed much attention though, focusing more on the Doctor. The bed sheets were the same blue as the TARDIS and they were knotted and twisted around the Doctor. She was wearing a plain blue t-shirt and a pair of loose jogging bottoms and her face was screwed up, her eyes moving jerkily under their lids. Jack and Rose reached forwards as one to sooth her, but as soon as they touched her they were unwittingly drawn into her nightmare.

~ ~ ~

_It was the TARDIS from earlier in the day, when Margaret had been threatening Rose's life, only this time Rose lay dead at Margaret's feet and Jack was lying on top of the extrapolater, also dead and Margaret was laughing. “Rose! Jack!” the Doctor cried. Margaret laughed and looked at the Doctor before speaking in a Dalek's voice._

“ _What is the use of emotions if you won't use them to save the ones you love?” And then she disappeared and the Doctor was left standing there. Mickey ran in._

“ _It's all your fault! I could have kept her safe! It's all your fault, you killed her!”_

“ _No! No, it wasn't me! I didn't do this!”_

“ _It's all you. This is what you do.” Slowly Mickey morphed into Koschei, not the man she had loved but the one the Time War had turned him into. “And you call yourself Doctor,” he sneered. “When all you do is kill people.”_

~ ~ ~

It was the presence of two other people in her mind that dragged the Doctor out of her nightmare and her eyes flew open, staring at Rose and Jack in surprise. She sat up quickly, her hands reaching out to check they were okay. “Rose? Jack?” It was almost like she couldn't believe they were there and alive.

“We're here Doctor,” Rose said. She hugged the Doctor and Jack knelt awkwardly on the side of the bed, not really sure what to do.

“You all right Doc?” She smiled, the horror of her nightmare already fading.

“I am now.” She reached out her other hand, pulling him into the hug. They ended up all lying in the Doctor's bed, Jack and Rose on either side of the Doctor. For a while they just lay there in the dark until the Doctor's breath had evened out and her heart beats had slowed.

“Doctor?” It was Rose's voice that floated out of the dark, but both her and Jack were waiting for the answer.

“Yes Rose?”

“Who was he? That man that Mickey turned into?” There was silence for a long moment and Jack was beginning to think she wouldn't answer when the Doctor spoke.

“His called himself the Master. He used to be my friend when we were children, but not long after I left to explore the universe I realised he'd changed and I couldn't close my eyes to it anymore. The Time War changed him. It changed everybody, but he became cruel. I don't think I know him any more.”

“Did he survive?” That was Rose again.

“I don't think so. I can't prove it, but I'm the last one left as far as I know.” Rose and Jack hugged her tighter in response to the loneliness in her voice. The Doctor wrapped her arms around them and, slowly, they fell asleep.

~ ~ ~

The Doctor woke up first. Rose was practically lying on top of her and Jack was on his side next to her, his right arm thrown across her and Rose and holding them tight. She stared up at the ceiling and allowed herself a small moment of regret. It would become so much harder to push them away after this, to try and pretend that she didn't feel anything. Rose mumbled something in her sleep, nuzzling her head into the Doctor's stomach. The Doctor smoothed down Rose's hair with a hand, smiling at her in a way she rarely did when the girl was awake.

“You need to tell her Doc.” If it hadn't been for Rose, the Doctor would have jumped a mile at Jack's voice.

“Tell her what?” She asked, continuing to stroke Rose's hair.

“You know what. This isn't fair on either of you, and she doesn't understand why you keep pushing her away. Come to think of it, _I_ don't understand.”

“Think about it Jack.” The Doctor's sigh seemed too heavy for such a peaceful morning. “I'm a Time Lord, or Lady if you prefer, but Rose is only human. I don't age, but humans, you grow old. You don't get a life, you just get a long death. Why do you think I always leave my Companion's behind? I can't watch that happen to someone I-” she broke off.

“Someone you what?”

“Nothing.” Jack raised an eyebrow, but he didn't push it.

“You just gonna leave us then? Just gonna drop us off back home and say goodbye like we shared a cab?”

“No. Not you two.” The words were out before she could stop them.

“But-”

“Leave it, Captain.” Her tone brooked no argument and her words were loud enough to half-wake Rose.

“Whuh?”

“Nothing Rose.” The Doctor said. She carefully manoeuvred herself out from under Rose and laid the girl gently back on the bed. She was half way across the room when she froze.

“Doc, you all right?”

“I'm fine, Jack,” the Doctor replied automatically. “I just...” She shook her head. “Nothing.”

“Aw, come on. You can't leave it like that.” Jack sat up, looking at her. “What is it?”

“A memory,” she replied finally. “A memory that hasn't happened yet.” Before either Jack or Rose (who was now awake enough to think coherently) could ask what she meant she had gone into the bathroom and locked the door.

“What was that all about?” Rose asked. She hadn't been awake enough to follow the conversation, drowsing contentedly with the feel of the Doctor's hand on her hair and the steady _thump-thump-thump-thump_ of her hearts.

“I don't know,” Jack replied. “Come on Rosie. We'd better get ready. It's shaping up to be a big day today.”

Inside the bathroom, the Doctor lent against the door and closed her eyes, sharpening the memory. She was pretty sure the TARDIS had put it in there, and she was pretty sure why, but it didn't make it any easier to live with. It had just been a snapshot, a fuzzy, hazy memory of lying in her bed with Rose lying on top of her and Jack curled up next to her in almost the same position they had been in earlier, but she had felt the echo of their thoughts in her head. Frustrated, she opened her eyes and paced around the bathroom. It couldn't happen. Telepathic bonds were something that had died with Gallifrey. Even the one she'd once shared with Koschei was dead, an empty hole in her head where something had once been. It was an absurdity, no other species was capable of such a feat of psychic ability. Maybe if she told herself that enough it would drown out the little voice in the back of her head that reminded her that all humans had a certain level of psychic ability and that a Time Lord could boost that if the human would allow them to. Why would Jack and Rose ever let her into their heads?

_Heads maybe, but not hearts,_ a voice whispered. It sounded vaguely like the Rani, another one of the Doctor's old friend-turned-enemies.

_Shut up._ The Doctor replied.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is one that I've been wanting to write for ages, it's one of the ones that's been circling in my head ever since I started this story and unless something goes terribly wrong (read deleting it from my computer memory or falling ill with some terrible disease) it should be uploaded pretty soon, although, as you've probably guessed, I have a loose definition of what 'pretty soon' means. Well, see you all in the next chapter.
> 
> Speaking of which, thanks to everyone who's head or left kudos on this story, it's nice to know I'm not just rambling along in madness. :P


	7. I want you safe, my Doctor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I have no excuse for how late this chapter is, only that I'm really lazy and this chapter has been a nightmare to write. The Doctor in my head is being really uncommunicative and I had no idea how she was going to express her feelings in this chapter, since she's been so adamant about pushing them away. I got it pretty much sorted out, although this chapter is going to be split into two, as it was getting a bit long and it would take me even longer to publish it if I had to finish the second half as well, so I'm hoping this will tide you guys over until I can get the second half up.  
> The writing in italics is thoughts, I'm hoping it'll be obvious who's thinking them. Please enjoy :)

“Never paid for my licence.” _Lynda with a 'Y'. Sweet little Lynda with a 'Y', you should run away from me as fast as you can, because the people I meet never survive me._

 

“Two hearts, that's her, which floor?” _Come on, come on, I've got to find them, these games are lethal._

 

“I made this world.” _I couldn't have. Could I? What have I done?_

 

“Boe! The Face of Boe!” _I got it right, I actually got one right! I have to win this, I have to find the Doctor and Jack._

 

“Look out for the Anne Droid, it's armed!” _You're safe, both of you! Please don't let it hurt you._

 

“What the hell did you do to her?” _Rose!_

 

“Your freaking game show killed her!” _Rose! Why did it have to be Rose?_

 

“She's on her way up here with a gun!” _Oh my god, we are going to die._

 

“Okay, so shoot me.” _Please, I can't live without her and I was never going to use it anyway._

 

“Do I look like an out of bounds sort of guy?” _You just killed my friend, so don't talk to me._

 

“Rose is still alive!” _Rose!_

 

“That's impossible. I know those ships. They were destroyed.” _Please, please say I'm imagining this._

 

“NO!” _You will hurt Rose over my dead body. I've already lost her once today._

 

“But you have no weapons, no defences, no plan.” _You cannot hurt us._

 

“Rose? (Yes Doctor?). I'm coming to get you.” _And I'll never leave you again I promise._

 

“I thought that was just a legend.” _But I've started to think otherwise._

 

“My people were destroyed but they took the Daleks with them.” _Fat lot of good that did. They died for nothing._

 

“You might've removed all your emotions, but I reckon right down deep in your DNA, there's one little spark left, and that's fear. Doesn't it just burn when you face me?” _You just hurt Rose. That is not a safe place to stand._

 

“Give the man a medal.” _Nice one, Captain. Smarter than you look._

 

“A Delta wave?” _Do you know what that means though?_

 

“Wish I'd never met you Doctor, I was much better off as a coward.” _I am so glad I met you. This may be the last chance I'm gonna have to kiss you Doc, so I'm not about to pass it by._

 

“Okay, it's bad. How bad is it?” _We can't just leave them to die Doctor. We can't._

 

“Do that for me Rose. Have a fantastic life.” _I just wish I could have been part of it._

 

“She's not here.” _I sent her home, Jack, I sent her back and my hearts are breaking. I wish I could have saved you as well, but you wouldn't have left me here._

 

“Doctor, the range of this transmitter covers the entire Earth.” _You won't do it. I know you. You can't push that button. You might've if Rose's life had depended on it, but she's not here is she?_

 

“You sent her home. She's safe. Keep working.” _It doesn't matter Doc. Rose is safe. That's all we care about. I just wish I'd had a chance to get you to safety as well, but you'd never have gone._

 

“There's nothing left for me here.” _Don't you understand Mickey? I can't let them die on their own. The Doctor and Jack, I have to get back to them._

 

“Coward. Any day.” _I can't do it again. I can't kill them all again._

 

“I want you safe. My Doctor. Protect it from the false god.” The Doctor stared at Rose from where she was kneeling on the floor. She shone with a golden light, and the Doctor instinctively realised that this was the TARDIS as well as Rose, but it was Rose, her Rose, that had said those words. For a brief moment those golden eyes had turned brown and her Rose, the little shop girl from the twenty first century had looked at her and said she wanted her safe. Then the Dalek Emperor spoke again and her eyes turned golden once more. “You are tiny. I can see the whole of time and space. Every single atom of your existence, and I divide them.” She moved her hand and the Doctor realised with a thrill of fear that she was exterminating the Daleks. Wasn't that ironic? “Everything must come to dust. All things. Everything dies. The Time War ends.”

“Rose, you've done it, now stop. Just let go.” _Please, darling girl. You'll hurt yourself._

“How can I let go of this?” It was her Rose again, that London accent and those brown eyes. “I bring life.” Jack was alive again, the Doctor could feel it. Her mental barriers were practically non-existent after the stress of the day and she felt him breathe again. The last act of the Time War was life. How fitting.

“But this is wrong! You can't control life and death.” _Even if I am glad that you've brought Jack back. There's something strange about him now though._ She was standing now, entreating Rose to listen to her.

“But I can. The sun and the moon, the day and the night, but why do they hurt?” The Doctor felt her gut clench in fear. It was killing her, the power was too much for her little human body to hold.

“The power's going to kill you and it's my fault!”

~ ~ ~

“I can see everything. All that is, all that was, all that ever could be.” Rose looked at the Doctor, begging her to understand. She could feel everything. This was what a Time Lord felt like and she wanted to embrace it and never let it go. Then she could be with her Doctor forever. She could see it in her head as she focused on their time-lines. She could see Jack alive and breathing, racing to see if they were alive, she could see her mum and Mickey down on earth, worrying about her and she could almost hear the Doctor's thoughts, how she was so scared for Rose. She could see everything that had ever happened to them, all the adventures they had shared, the Doctor on Gallifrey and Jack's childhood. It was intoxicating. What was this? Her and the Doctor and Jack on a planet with apple grass. Laughing and running. Stranded on a planet circling a black hole. Jack being left behind. The Doctor regenerating _(NO!_ _Not_ _my_ _Doctor._ _Please)._ She could see herself, trapped in a parallel universe, fighting to find her was back to Jack and the Doctor.

“That's what I see. All the time, and doesn't it drive you mad?” _Oh my poor Doctor. All the time? How can you live like that? It's making my head hurt just thinking about it._

“My head.”

“Come 'ere.” The Doctor stretched her arms out towards her, reaching forwards, and Rose could see a look on her face that she'd never seen before. It was so gentle and soft, there was friendship (and love?) in those eyes and a comforting warmth that Rose wanted to throw herself into and never leave.

“It's killing me.” The Doctor had drawn level with her now, reaching out for her.

“I think you need a Doctor.” Rose didn't even have time to smile at the Doctor's rather awful pun before the Doctor's lips were on hers and her world was exploding.

It felt like Rose was a teenager again and experiencing her first kiss. The Doctor's lips were soft, her hands gentle, and Rose melted into the kiss. She only had a second to experience it though, before she felt the power of the Time Vortex streaming out of her again. The Doctor broke away, but they were still connected by the stream of golden light. Rose only had enough time to think how beautiful her Doctor looked, glowing golden with the power of the Time Vortex in her before she felt herself falling and everything went black.

~ ~ ~

Jack arrived at floor five hundred just in time to see the Doctor kiss Rose. He didn't know where the Dalek's had gone, or what all that golden light was, or what Rose was doing here again, come to that, but he reckoned it couldn't be that bad if it had got the two of them together at last. He was about to say something when the Doctor pulled away and he saw the golden strands of light holding them together. Then Rose seemed to slump in the Doctor's arms and the Doctor cradled the blonde girl against her. She seemed to be glowing with a golden light and as Jack watched she exhaled it back into the TARDIS and the doors closed. She looked back at Rose who was still unconscious and there was a tender expression in her eyes. After swallowing a couple of times in a futile effort to dislodge the sudden lump in his throat Jack managed to speak. “I have to hand it to you,” he said, grinning as he sauntered towards them. “I've never had someone I've kissed faint before.”

“Jack!” The Doctor looked up, and to his surprise, the tender expression in her eyes didn't vanish. If anything, it seemed to grow softer. “You're alive!”

“Yeah, how did that happen?” He could still remember the pain of being shot by that Dalek. “I thought Dalek's were supposed to kill you?”

“Yeah, they do. Rose brought you back.” He stared at her, at a loss for words for once in his life.

“How?” The Doctor looked at him with a grim expression in her eyes.

“She looked into the Time Vortex Jack, and no one's s'posed to do that. The TARDIS brought her back here and she exterminated the Dalek's and brought you back. She had the power of the Vortex running through her head; she could do anything, but it was so human.”

“What do you mean?” Jack asked.

“She brought you back, Jack, but she couldn't control it. She brought you back forever. You can't ever die, Jack. You're a fixed point in time, like Pompeii.” Jack stared at her as the implications of her words sank in.

“Will I age? Will I ever be able to die?”

“I don't know Jack-” The Doctor was about to say something else but Rose made a small noise and she looked down, concern written all over her features.

“She didn't just faint, did she?” Jack asked, dreading the answer.

“No,” the Doctor replied quietly. “The Time Vortex was burning her up, I had to get it out of her before it was too late.” Any other time, Jack would have made a rather suggestive remark about that, but he was worried about the Doctor and Rose, so he let it slide.

“Won't it hurt you in the same way?”

“Nope. Superior Time Lord biology. 'Sides, it was only in me for a couple of seconds at most.”

“So... you'll be all right?” The Doctor gave Jack a searching look, as if to ask why he cared, and then she nodded.

“Yeah. I'll be fine.” She looked down at Rose. “We need to get her to the medbay, I want to make sure there's no lasting damage.” Jack nodded, picking his way through the wires. The Doctor tried to lift Rose and nearly dropped her, dismayed at the loss of her strength. She'd lost count of the times she'd carried Rose, as she had a habit of wearing ridiculous heels and then being unable to run in them, but apparently taking in the power of the Time Vortex had done her a lot more harm than she'd thought.

“Here,” Jack said, catching Rose and helping support her. “I got her.” The Doctor stepped back and he lifted the blonde girl easily before gesturing for her to go first. “Lead the way then, Doc.”

The Doctor led him to the medbay easily, although he noticed that she wasn't walking as quickly as usual, but he was more worried about the disturbingly still girl in his arms. _One at a time, Jack, deal with them one at a time._ He gently laid Rose on the bed, trying to make her as comfortable as possible, while the Doctor engaged the scanner. “Will she be all right?”

“I don't know Jack.” She sounded frustrated, but she didn't look up from the screen, almost willing it to work faster. He looked at her, and decided to broach a difficult subject again.

“You need to tell her, Doc.” The Doctor turned to face him, and instead of the anger he expected, there was a deep weariness in her expression.

“How? She's human Jack, and I'm a Time Lord. I don't _do_ domestic, I can't...” She swallowed, trying to give voice to her thoughts. “How can I be anything that she wants? She could have a normal, beautiful partner, a fantastic life... how can I fit into any of that?” Jack shook his head.

“You don't get it, do you?” He sighed _, How do you explain something to someone that deliberately dense?_ “She came back Doc. It doesn't matter what you can or can't give her, all that matters is that you love her and she loves you.” Maybe if he could focus on getting them two together he could forget about his own inconvenient desires.

The Doctor looked at him strangely, but then she gasped in pain and grabbed at her head. “Doctor!” Jack cried, jumping forwards, only to be pushed away.

“No,” she said hoarsely.

“What?”

“Don't... don't touch me... it'll only... make it worse,” she said, between gasps of breath. He looked at her, uncomprehending. “Think... think of... nothing. Come on... Jack, you've... had psychic training? Close your... mind.” He tried to do as she asked, and after a couple of seconds she relaxed.

“What happened?” She looked at him contritely.

“Sorry. Time Lords are telepathic and... my mental barriers are practically non-existent. I was... overloaded with information until I managed to get them back up. Telepathy's worse with contact, that's why I warned you to stay away.” She closed her eyes and just sat quietly for a moment, Jack watched her, worried. He'd never seen her this vulnerable before, and it worried him.

~ ~ ~

The Doctor was tired. So, so tired it was beyond belief. Last night had been the first time she'd actually rested in a very long time, and it was beginning to tell. The amount of energy the Time Vortex had taken from her, coupled with the lack of sleep, had left her barely functioning. She absolutely had to get some rest, but first, she had to make sure Rose was okay and deal with the confusing welter of emotions that she had inadvertently picked up from Jack's mind. He was worried for her as well as Rose. She'd known for a while that he liked Rose, how deep it was she didn't know, which was one of the reason's why she'd kept trying to push Rose away, hoping she'd turn to Jack, but she hadn't noticed that Jack felt just the same way about her. The machine beeped and she turned to it, offering Jack a weary grin and waving away his worries. _What am I going to do?_ She sighed. The sensible thing to do would be to push them away, but she was too old, too tired and far too selfish for that. “It's quite ironic actually,” she said softly.

“What is?” Jack asked.

“It took you all of five minutes to notice that I was pushing Rose away from me and realise why, yet you never noticed me doing exactly the same to you.” She stayed facing the machine while Jack worked out what she was saying. A soft 'oh' behind her alerted her to the fact that he had caught up. A hand landed on her shoulder and she lent into the support that simple touch offered.

“Are you saying you're not going to push us away anymore?” The Doctor sighed.

“It isn't that simple Jack, but yes, I am going to try to not push you away.” The conversation would possibly have continued further, but a noise from behind them made them realise that Rose was waking up and they both turned to face her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, bit of a cliff hanger there, sorry about that. As a writer, I appreciate the structural benefits of a good cliff hanger, but I know that as a reader it can really suck. Hopefully the next chapter will be up soon though.


End file.
